


Moonlighting

by FancyFree2813



Series: Layers (originally named The Goofy Mountie Series [25]
Category: due South
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyFree2813/pseuds/FancyFree2813
Summary: Kerri plans a special anniversary gift for Renfield. And Ray? - well Ray is still Ray.
Relationships: Renfield Turnbull/Kerri
Series: Layers (originally named The Goofy Mountie Series [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954873
Kudos: 1





	Moonlighting

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in the Layers universe and even though I thought I'd posted all of the Layers stories I forgot about this one! It can really be read in any order but chronologically it falls between It's in the Mail and Girl's Night Out. This story is all Courser's fault. Once upon a time I mentioned that a new 'shop' had opened in our town and she said I had to write a story about it. And so Moonlighting was born. As far as I know the porn shop is still there - and it really is called Kerri Ann's Erotique Boutique.

Moonlighting aka Blame it on Courser

“Kowalski! Get in here!” Lieutenant Harding Welsh bellowed from behind his half-eaten sandwich, from behind his desk, and from behind his closed office door. But Ray Kowalski heard him. Heard him loud and clear. When the Lieutenant yelled that loudly everyone in the building heard him.

“Sir?” Kowalski shoved only the spiky tips of his experimental hair through the tiny crack in the barely opened door. 

“Kowalski, when I ask for you to come into my office, I mean ALL of you!” Harding was in an exceptionally foul mood and having his officers handling cases from another precinct made his mood even fouler.

Once Kowalski slouched at attention in front of his desk Welsh began, “got an assignment for you.” Before Kowalski could even open his mouth to complain, his boss held up his hand. “I don’t want to hear it, Detective. I’ve heard every excuse in the book for the last three days. It is not my fault if there’s a flu epidemic at the 19th. I don’t care if your turtle has the measles, your landlady is going to toss you out on your butt if you don’t get your place fumigated, your car’s in the shop for its yearly beauty treatment, Big Red’s got an ingrown toenail and needs a lift, or even that your dog ate your homework! I need you to go down and check this out."

He shoved a crumpled slip of paper with mustard on it at his ace detective. Seeing the look on Kowalski’s face, Welsh bristled. “Hey! You try answering all these calls with a ham sandwich in your fist and see if you can do any better!”

Ray looked at the address on the slip of paper. Under the street number was also written ‘porn’. “Since when do we lean on x-rated shops? Nothin’ illegal bout sellin’ peek-a-boo undies ‘n naughty movies, unless maybe I missed somethin?”

“Kowalski, seems to me you miss quite a lot, but no, there’s nothing illegal about that. Seems the neighborhood watch folks are all up in arms about this erotic boutique place, didn’t get the exact name, being too close to a school. Plus the Watch Commander at the 19th thinks they might be running an escort service out of the place.” He held up his hand against Kowalski’s objections once again. “Look Detective, I know it’s usually a beat cop that does this preliminary stuff, but we’re fresh out of them right now. Just toddle on over there and wave your badge around like a good little detective, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to do a little police work for a change.”

Kowalski left in a snit, mumbling something about ‘not being fair’. To which Welsh found it necessary to yell a response. “If life was fair, I’d be the King of England and you’d be scrubbing toilets at the Renaissance Hotel!”

Ray found the address after fighting traffic for at least an hour. He’d never realized that the 19th's turf was so huge. Muttering to himself the entire way that this was stupid and why did those guys have to go and get the flu, and why the hell was it so damn hot, and why did his stupid air conditioner have to pick this stupid time to up and quit, and why the hell didn’t he become a meat packer like his dad… He was just about to think of another round of complaints when he finally arrived at the address of the porn shop, and anything remotely resembling a coherent thought flew right out of his head.

The building was pink, shocking pink with purple trim. He kind of liked that, thought it was kind of pretty. But he barely had time to notice the color before he spotted the name of the shop on the marquee, and almost swallowed his tongue.

In huge, passionate purple letters, right out there for all the world to see was the name of the shop – Kerri Ann’s Erotique Boutique.

It had to be a coincidence! There was no way in hell that his beautiful Kerri, the woman who had stolen his heart and captivated his mind for the last two years, okay, and was the wife of his best friend, there was no way she would ever, EVER be involved in something like this. 

Of course, that had to explain it! Just a coincidence! There were probably hundreds, maybe even thousands of Kerri Anns in the world. Hadn’t she once told him that she was named after that 70’s song by the Hollys? Lots of women had the same name. Sure, that was it!

Ray pulled into the tiny parking area in front of the building and sat very still. For some reason, his palms were sweating and he couldn’t catch his breath. This was just stupid, he was a cop, after all, and he could handle anything!

He slammed the transmission into park and turned the engine off. He was halfway out of the car when he saw it. Out of the corner of his eye, parked partially hidden between the porn shop and the two story building next to it, was a 1966 Playmate Pink Mustang convertible. He’d know that car anywhere, he knew it almost as well as he knew his own, it was Kerri’s car. Ray almost passed out on the spot.

He sat in the GTO, with his feet in the parking lot for a very long time, not able to move, barely able to breathe. Kerri’s car. Dear God, how was this possible? What was she thinking? Did Turnbull…Holy shit! The only arrow in the quiver straighter than Fraser was Turnbull! There was no way that Turnbull could possibly know about this!

Ray’s world spun out of control. Everything he knew to be right and true had suddenly become wrong and false. He’d been betrayed by Kerri, they’d all been lied to and betrayed by a woman that he thought he knew as well as he knew himself.

He stared at the gaudy façade of the store. Since the Las Vegas wedding and honeymoon that he had so lovingly planned for Turnbull and Kerri had turned out to be a fiasco, Turnbull had spent quite some time trying to explain to him the difference between gaudy and beautiful. Ray still thought Turnbull was goofy, but he had to admit that the front of this building fit his buddy’s definition of gaudy to a ‘t’.

Below the large display windows, attached to the pink front wall was a short, white picket fence with bright green ivy painted on it. The windows on either side of the front door were painted over with a pastoral scene. A stylized woman, dressed to resemble Little Bo Peep, stood holding a staff on a grassy knoll, overlooking a green pasture full of fluffy, cloudlike sheep and lambs. At first glance the fence and the painted windows gave the illusion of this place being a day care center. At first glance.

Even if the flashing ‘open all the time’ neon sign and the yellow and black banner across the front of the building proclaiming ‘All Your Lovin’ Needs’ hadn’t given it away, a closer examination of Peep and her sheep would have dispelled any misguided notions that this was anything but a porn shop.

Peep’s frock was low cut and had popped several bodice buttons to reveal abundant cleavage and the stitched top of a black leather bustier. The sheep, while round and fluffily soft, bore the countenance of leering men. And positioned in the middle of the flock was a drooling wolf, lips drawn back and teeth bared, with a sheepskin thrown over its back. 

Customers came and went, a few staring suspiciously at Ray as he sat immobile, half in and half out of his car. Finally, when he could no longer stand it, he steeled himself and stumbled into the porn shop.

The interior of Kerri Ann’s Erotique Boutique was similar to other shops he had seen, in his role as a law enforcement officer, of course. There were racks of lacy women’s undergarments that left very little, or quite a lot, to the imagination, depending on the person doing the imagining.

There were racks of black leather things, some that Ray recognized and some that he didn’t. He looked at a couple of things that he wasn’t sure he wanted to know about, they looked lethal, or at the very least horribly painful. He shuddered at the thought.

He wandered around the shop, trying desperately to remember why he was there, and not to think about who owned the place. It didn’t occur to him until he was wandering through the racks of x to xxx rated movies that he might actually run into her.

He felt the breathy whisper on the back of his neck and jumped right off his feet. A particularly worrisome implement had attracted his undivided attention, and he didn’t notice her approach. He spun at the sound of her voice and almost passed out with relief. It wasn’t Kerri.

“I said,” she breathed, “may I help you?” The woman looked barely old enough to work in a place like this. Ray tried his damnedest to make a mental note to check that when he got back to…where was that again? Oh, yeah, the 27th.

It took Ray several moments to get around to looking at her face, being transfixed by her body. The sweaty palms he experienced while pulling himself together in the car were dry as a bone compared to the way they were almost dripping now. God had certainly done His best with her. 

“Think ‘bout Paige. Think ‘bout Paige,” he muttered to himself.

Denim jeans painted long legs, slender hips and a tiny waist, and a white cotton shirt, tied at her middle, strained over her more than ample chest. Her face, once he got around to looking at it, was very pretty. Not like Kerri, or even Paige, though. She looked hard, as if she had already seen far too much in her short life. Her hair was long and bleached to an almost colorless white. Her eyes turned out to be green. A very interesting color, but there wasn't much life there, and certainly no sparkle. She smiled at him, a dazzlingly white perfect greeting that held all the world’s sexuality, but no warmth. Ray breathed an audible sigh of relief. He was actually able to look at this gorgeous creature and think about the woman he loved. Thank God!

“Sir?” She smiled to herself. She had this effect on a lot of men, and she worked it for all it was worth. “Are you all right?”

“Sure.” Ray finally regrouped. “You the owner?” He prayed that that was the case.

She giggled. “Nah. I just started working here. Haven’t even met the new owners.”

Ray took a deep breath and asked the obvious, the question he already knew the answer to. “Owners? They got names?” Ray finally remembered he was a cop, and why he was here. He flashed his badge in her direction. “The City a Chicago would like ta know.”

The young woman was instantly on her guard. She’d seen the looks from the neighbors around the corner and had already had one lady in here today calling her all sorts of unpleasant names. “Why the cops wanna know?”

“Let's just say we’re curious.” Ray was about to strangle the woman. He had to know! Had to hear her deny, or confirm, what he already knew. Kerri was…well he didn't know what to call it yet, but he would soon.

“Look, Mister, I just got this job. Just been here a few days. I need the money. I don’t wanna get fired. I don’t know their names. Just the name of the company that owns the place.”

Ray thought she was going to cry. “Yer momma know ya work in a place like this?” Before she could answer he continued, “look, if ya wanna work here, it’s not illegal. Immoral maybe, but I sure can’t judge ya on that one. Just tell me who owns the place and if there’s any extra-curricular activities goin on after hours.”

It took her a moment to realize what he was referring to, and when she did her eyes flew open in horror. “Oh, God! I’d never…I mean I wouldn’t…I don’t know anything about anything like *that*!” She ran to the cash register and snatched up a business card. “This is the name of the company. I don’t know anything else, I promise!”

Ray almost smiled at her. That was definitely better, now she looked and sounded her age. “Lemme give ya some advice. There’s other places ta work. Get the heck outta here before ya get hurt.”

With the business card going limp in his sweaty hand, Ray made for the door. Before he could push it opened he remembered one last thing. “Ya ever seen who owns that car parked outside, the pink Mustang?”

“I think it belongs to one of the owners, but I'm not sure.”

Ray was back behind the wheel of his GTO before he was able to force himself to look at the damp card in his hand. 

‘Pink Pony Inc’ was all it said.

He never would be able to remember the drive from South Chicago to the Great Expectations Bookshop. He spent the hour that it took to get back to familiar, friendly territory, even though he wasn’t sure as he pulled up and parked in front of the bookshop that it was indeed friendly or familiar any more, rehearsing what he was going to say to her.

There was no way in hell he’d let this pass, but he also couldn’t just blurt it out either. There still remained the hope that this was some colossal mistake, that it was just some bizarre coincidence that they’d all laugh about later. And if, God help him, if it was true, he was positive that there would be some logical, rational explanation. Kerri was the best female friend he’d ever had, and he had to give her the benefit of the doubt.

He greeted Lance with his customary “what's up?” before heading on up to the second floor apartment. He’d learned by one really embarrassing incident to announce himself before just bursting in on them, so he shouted as he made his way up the stairs.

“Hey! Kerri! Ya decent? I'm on my way up!” He missed an entire step as he realized what he’d said. Kerri was decent, as decent a human being as he’d ever known. The relief washed over him like a gentle breeze. Of course this was all a mistake!

“Kerri's not here Ray,” Renfield called to his friend, “but don't let that stop you.” He giggled in that slightly brainless way he had and waited to greet his friend. “I’m assuming that you’ve come to see me too?” He smiled as Ray arrived at the top of the stairs.

“Sure, I just didn’t think ya’d be here yet. Isn’t it a little early for ya ta be home?”

Turnbull frowned and nodded his head. “Yes it is. But I’ve been skipping lunch and leaving early for the last week. Kerri’s been out every evening, so the only time I get to see her is right after she’s done working downstairs.”

Apprehension started in Ray’s toes and slowly made its way up his legs. “What’s she doin’ at night?”

Turnbull pouted petulantly. “She won’t tell me. Says it’s a surprise to make some extra money.”

Ray’s heart fell right through the floor.

“She and Francesca have had their heads together over some big plan for several weeks. Won’t even give me a clue,” he pouted.

Ohmigod! he thought. Frannie too? Holy shit! “Frannie’s in it too?”

Renfield was slightly confused by Ray’s shaky voice. “Is there a problem Ray? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, I mean nah, there’s no problem.” He swallowed three times before he could utter another word. “When's she been getting’ home?”

“Really very late, given her hours in the bookshop. I worry about her working too hard, build an apartment so she can curtail her hours then she goes and gets another job. At least I think it’s a job –”

Funny, Ray thought, he’d always heard it referred to as a profession – the world’s oldest.

“– I wish she'd tell me something other than I’d be really *pleased* with what they’re learning.”

Ray gulped. Way too much information there! He didn’t even want to think what she might be learning that she would later share with Turnbull.

“I’m sorry Ray, but Constable Fraser and I are going to a hockey game and I’ve only got two tickets. If you’d like to go I could call the arena and see if –”

“Nah, I’m kinda beat. Ya mind if I wait for Kerri? I got sumpthin’ kinda personal I wanna talk ta her ‘bout.” 

“Are you sure you’re alright? You and Paige aren’t –”

“Oh, no! It’s just sumpthin’ I need ta talk ta Kerri ‘bout.”  
_______________

It was getting so late that Ray was beginning to wonder if Turnbull would be back from the game before Kerri returned. But finally, far into the night, he heard her unmistakable step on the stairs.

He had practiced what he was going to say for hours, but still wasn’t sure he could say it. He wanted to rant and rave. To blame her for hurting him, not to mention what she was doing to Turnbull. If what the Watch Commander from the 19th suspected was true and that boutique was a front for . . . that meant Kerri and maybe even Frannie were . . . Good God! Frannie was his sister, well almost his sister! 

By the time Kerri dragged herself to the top of the stairs, Ray was ready and waiting.

“Ray? What on earth are you doing here at this hour? Is Renny back from his – Ray? What's wrong?”

“Where the hell have you been?” he shouted.

Kerri was taken aback. Why in the world was he shouting at her? “It’s a secret,” she frowned. “What’s wrong? Nothing’s happened to Renny?” she gasped as she searched the apartment for any sign of Turnbull.

“Nothin’ ‘cept what yer doin’ ta him!”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know yer little secret!”

“What! Oh, Ray, please don’t tell Renfield? I want so much to surprise him for our anniversary.”

“Oh, he’ll be surprised alright! What’d ya think ya were doin’? You ‘n Frannie both?”

“Well, yeah,” she looked sheepishly at him. “It was kind of my idea, but Frannie thought it would be great fun. She’s a little out of practice, and I knew I could certainly stand improvement,” she giggled. “Please don’t tell Renny until I can show him what I’ve learned?”

Good God! Ray could not believe his ears. Kerri, beautiful, decent, respectable Kerri had turned to a life of…and God damn it, she’d taken Frannie with her! Ray was so angry he couldn’t speak.

“It’s going to be terrific, you know? It’s been more hard work than I had anticipated. But I’m getting stronger. At first I was pretty sore, you know, using muscles I hadn’t used that way before. But Frannie says that if we get really good we can advertise and sell on the Internet!” She grinned at him, “if you’re really nice to me I might even invite you over when I show off to Renny’s father what I know!”

Ray had always loved Kerri, there were few people alive that didn’t know that. But when he’d met Paige all that had changed. But he secretly, deep down, still carried just the tiniest of torches for her. Until this very moment. She was offering herself to him! In Turnbull’s own home, with his father!

By the time he was finally able to utter a sound, he was blue with rage. “How could you do this? Haven’t ya considered what Turnbull is gonna say?”

“I guess that’s what got me started, thinking about Renny. Oh, he’d never actually say anything, but I’m sure he compares me to his mother. She was so good at it. I’d like to think I'm keeping up a family tradition.” She smiled proudly and then frowned. Ray looked like he was about to have a stroke.

Ray felt the room begin to spin. HIS MOTHER? Holy shit!

“Ray!” Kerri grabbed him before he fell to the floor. She helped him to a chair and then ran to get some water.

Kerri was out of the room for only a few seconds, but in that time Renfield returned from the hockey game. It only took one look for him to know something was terribly wrong.

“Ray? What is it? Are you okay?” he called as he rushed to his friend.

Kerri came running from the kitchen, a glass full of water splashing to the floor as she ran. “God, Renny! I'm so glad you’re here. There’s something wrong with Ray!”

Turnbull took the glass and held it to Ray’s lips. “Drink this slowly.” With his hand on his friend’s shoulder, Turnbull could feel Ray trembling. The presence of Turnbull seemed to calm him though, and after a few minutes Ray was able to squeak out a couple of words.

“She said –” he glared at Kerri.

Renfield turned from where he was kneeling on the floor to question his wife. “What? What did you say?”

Ray glared at her as Kerri tried frantically to remember something she might have said to upset him so. “I just told him about the baking classes Frannie and I are taking.” Seeing Renfield's eyes fly open in shock she hurried to continue. “I wanted to surprise you. We learning the art of artisanal bread baking. Your family thinks baking is second nature, and I wanted so much for you to be proud of me.”

Renfield looked at her with eyes that shone with pride. “You always make me proud,” he whispered.

“Baking?” Ray squeaked.

“Sure, Frannie and I are taking classes at the cooking school on the south side.” She hesitated just a moment. “What did you think?”

Suddenly all the color returned to Ray’s cheeks, and kept returning and returning, until he was the color of a ripe tomato. “It’s nuthin’,” he whispered.

“Ray, whatever just happened was not nothing. You were obviously very upset by something Kerri said. What was it?”

“I just made a mistake, that's all.”

“What did you think my secret was?” Kerri asked again. The way he was behaving and his tone of voice when she’d first returned from her class caused Kerri to frown deeply.

“Just a mistake?” Renfield repeated.

“I saw yer car tonight, that's all.”

“Parked next to the cooking school? You were all the way down on the south side?”

“Well, yeah,” he answered sheepishly, doing his best to avoid her gaze.

Renfield had surprised numerous people over the last 18 months with how perceptive he really was. And though she always liked to give him the credit, his wife was also extremely intuitive. Ray could tell that a very nasty thought was beginning to take shape in the back of her mind.

“You saw my car,” she muttered to herself. “Parked next to the school. Which is also next to that boutique.” She wandered over to the far side of the room, deep in thought. Frannie had kidded her about the name of that disgusting place. She’d said maybe they’d give them a discount since her name was the same. Ray had seen the name of the shop and her car parked next to it. 

She whirled around and frowned deeply at him. The cringing look on his face told her everything she needed to know. She marched across the room and punched him with all her might squarely in the arm.

“How could you!” she screamed. “How could you think such a terrible thing about me! That I’d be a part of such a place! Why, the very idea! It’s so demeaning to women! Not to mention the type of person that kind of place attracts. It’s right around the corner from an elementary school –”

Rubbing his arm and frowning, Ray tried to explain. “I only went there cause we thought there was a escort service runnin’…” Oh, shit! Was that ever the wrong thing to say.

Kerri stood completely still, her eyes flashing with anger. “Let me get this straight,” her voice was so calm and controlled it even scared Renfield. He’d heard that voice, once, and did not ever want to hear it again. He thanked God it wasn’t directed at him. “You saw a sign that said ‘Kerri Ann’s Erotique Boutique’ with my car parked next to it, not in front, but next to it. And from that you naturally *assumed* that I had become a…” she had to wrack her brain, she couldn't even remember what those kind of women were called “…a call girl?”

“NO!” Ray was on his feet to defend himself and protect the friendship he saw slipping away. “NO, I did not naturally assume that! You’re a good person, I know that! I came here ta ask ya bout it! But then Turnbull said ya was out every night workin’ on a surprise, ‘n you said Frannie was outta practice ‘n you needed improvement, ‘n ya wanted ta surprise Turnbull with what ya learned, ‘n you were sore all over, ‘n you could sell on the Internet…Jeez, Kerri, it just sounded like you were confirmin’ it!”

Kerri stared at the man she loved like a brother barely noticing that he was groveling at her feet. “I think you’ve said enough, Ray. Please leave.” She slowly turned her back to him.

“Kerri, I’m sorry!” Ray cried.

Renfield had followed the conversation without interruption, able to glean enough to have a vague understanding of what had happened to cause the misunderstanding. He also knew when to let Kerri be. 

“I think it would be best if you left now, Ray.” Motioning to him to follow him out, Renfield felt it was up to him to be the peacemaker. 

Once they were halfway down the stairs Ray turned to him. “God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! Tell her I’m sorry, ‘kay?”

“Kerri will forgive you. She’s just upset right now. Give her a little while.” 

Renfield let him out of the shop without another word.

When Renfield returned to the second floor Kerri was still standing in the same spot. But to his utter amazement she was staring at their grandfather clock with strangest, smug look of self-satisfaction.

“Happy anniversary, Renny.”

He looked at the clock and realized that it was just after midnight, and it was indeed now their 1st anniversary. He looked at her slightly askance.

“Do you like your present?”

“You mean the baking classes?” he frowned.

“Well, that too!” she grinned and knew now was the time for explanations. “Do you remember what happened exactly a year ago today?”

“Of course,” he walked over to her and took her in his arms, “we got married.” He was just about positive that that was not what she was referring to.

“Yes, but remember how we got married and where we spent most of our wedding night?” Her back still hurt whenever she remembered spending her wedding night on the floor of that tacky motel.

“Well, yes,” the light was beginning to shine.

“And how you promised that one day you’d get even with Ray for arranging that whole catastrophe?”

Oh, dear! “Kerri, you didn't?”

She nodded her head rapidly looking for all the world like the cat that had swallowed the canary. “With Frannie and Lieutenant Welsh’s help. Oh, I did plan for the baking class to be my present to you, but the minute Frannie and I saw that porn shop, with my name on the sign, next to the cooking school we both knew that Ray would jump to conclusions, he always does. So I asked the clerk to play dumb, which unfortunately was very easy for her, and had Lieutenant Welsh send Ray on a wild goose chase,” she giggled. “Frannie and I watched from the upstairs window of the school and saw him drive in. We knew he’d taken the bait just from the way he sat in the car for so long.” She looked at Renny with the devilment showing in her eyes, “I told him I was trying to follow in your mother's footsteps!” They both burst out laughing. “I even had a fake business card made up to lead him on. You like my present?”

Renfield considered it for a moment and then broke into a huge grin. “Yes!”

Kerri giggled again. “I’ll call him in a little bit and let him off the hook. He really was pretty upset.”

“Not as upset as I was when I found out where he had reserved our honeymoon suite!” Renfield snickered too. “But you’re right, you should let him off the hook pretty soon.”

“But before I call him I need to show you something…something I bought while I was in that shop. The clerk had to explain it to me,” she blushed. “You see it’s called a cock ring and you…”

The End


End file.
